I remembered I was capable
I'd come to Peru because I was having trouble feeling attached to things. I was finding myself numb to the day to day. I had become out of shape. Feeling worthless. And overall a bit lost. I needed to somehow remind myself of my worth. Climbing a mountain seemed as good of a way to try as any.
I had chosen to hike the Salkantay Trail on the advice of a friend. It goes a little higher than the Inca Trail and isn't as crowded. Oddly it was a bit cheaper too.
It rained the entirety of day one as we took a short, yet high altitude hike to our first camping post. I felt awful and fell asleep early.
The next morning was the most difficult day. The highest summit and the steepest climb. We'd reach over 15K feet above sea level, higher than I've ever climbed.
The morning began rough. Sick with altitude. Weak from not having eaten. The group and I started hiking. I was the oldest of my group and quickly became the slowest. Limping my way up the hill, we pushed on and after about 4 hours, were at the top.
A rush of relief swept over me as I sat down and looked around. Surrounded by jagged rock and low clouds, there was a stillness. And a peacefulness. Like a natural zen garden. And I was able to feel accomplished. I had climbed higher than I ever had, and all the negativity I had been giving myself for months quieted.
I had reminded myself that I was capable, something I had forgotten in the months before.
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